Sibling Revelry

By Conor
Contributing Editor

Perhaps the most frequent question we get lately regarding the kids is how well Lillie is adjusting to having Quinn in the house. At this point, nearly 4 months in, I wonder if Lillie even has much of a memory of life without him. Still, something happened two nights ago that I thought illustrated pretty well how she's adapted.

Lillie and Quinn share a room, and while we were given assurances from many parents who had two little ones as roommates that it worked fine, we never quite understood all the logistics. How would we keep Lillie, who isn't exactly the soundest of sleeper, calm in her crib when Quinn gets up crying multiple times in the middle of the night? How would we keep Quinn asleep when Lillie has a complex bedtime routine that involves her babbling and singing herself to sleep for up to an hour?

The answer, it has turned out so far, is to implement things bit by bit. We've moved Lillie's story and song time to our room while Quinn nurses to sleep. When Quinn wakes, we've been quickly going in and bringing him to our room to calm down. We've also told Lillie she can sing a song to Quinn if he's crying and that might help him go to sleep.

Which brings us to two nights ago. After a good six weeks or so of limited nighttime interruptions, Quinn's been having a tough time sleeping this week. Is it gas, teething, hunger, growing pains? Who knows, but it's been exhausting to shuttle him out of the room over and over, which probably wakes him up even more. Lillie had been surprisingly okay with all the crying, and in fact, she's often singing "Too Ra Loo Ra Finn!" when we walk in. So two nights ago, I decided I would just rock him in the nursery, and let him cry it out.

After about 15 minutes of Quinn's inconsolable crying, I looked over in bleary darkness to see how it was that Lillie wasn't crying like crazy herself after all this disturbance. I was startled to see her, sitting up, her Elmo doll in her arms in the same position Quinn was in mine, rocking back and forth just as I was doing in the chair.

This, I thought at the time, sums up just how she is as a big sister. She has her moments of revealing that she is, after all, a two year old, and wants her share of attention, babying, and playtime with everything that Quinn touches. But in the end, Lillie's natural instinct as a big sister is to care for her brother as best she can (which she shows with big hugs and shoves of pacifiers in the mouth), and when she can't help, she's mimicking the care with whatever substitute works. Sometimes it means she hilariously nurses her baby doll by lifting her shirt up, and sometimes it's by being up at 3 in the morning with Mom and Dad silently trying to get Elmo back to sleep.

And for any of you who wonder how Quinn likes having Lillie around, this happy baby looks at his big sister with nothing but wild adoration, even when she tackles him with a hug.